Hoe Tips

pro-hoeing:

Okay so these are tips that can make a hoes life so much easier. Enjoy 💕💕

1. Throw away any shaving cream use coconut butter or oil to shave, than apply oil after you dry off. BAM. NO STUBBLE. NO BURN. IT’S THE SHIT.

2. Don’t use shaving cream or coconut butter for your coochie. Use Johnson’s baby oil instead. You’ll have no razor burn.

3. There isn’t anything wrong with your natural coochie smell, but if you want to taste sweet eat cranberries or pineapple. SHIT WORKS.

4. Stretch marks on inner thighs? Use Vaseline and coconut oil over night EVERY NIGHT to get rid of them.

5. Men’s razors >>> womens razors. Cheaper, closer shave and cleaner.

6. Pee after sex. It’ll help prevent any UTIs. Don’t hold it in. UPDATE: I’ve changed it now, but this used to say pee to stop STIs, that is INCORRECT, and the only thing to stop STIs is a condom. Thank you to @infinitelaughing for correcting me!

7. Carry your own condoms. You’re a strong independent hoe and carry your Trojans proud.

8. If you’re braking out buy tea tree oil.

9. KAT VON D LIQUID LIPSTICKS ARE BLOWJOB PROOF. IT WILL NOT COME OFF. PLUS IT’S MATTE.

10. Matte makeup (foundation, lipstick, eyeliner) all lasts better against sheets for sex.

11. Want longer nails to scratch with? GARLIC ON NAIL BEDS. COCONUT OIL ON CUTICLES. GROW BITCHES GROW.

12. To make eyebrows fuller put on coconut oil before bed.

13. Add ½ cup of apple cider vinegar to your bath. It’ll reset the balance of your coochie’s PH. You’ll feel and smell r8 8/8

14. Run a hot bath. Favourite bubble bath. Soak. EXFOLIATE. When you get out put coconut oil all over your body.

15. Honey + white sugar - lip scrub
Coconut oil + brown sugar - body exfoliator

16. Dry feet are nasty af. Soak feet in hot water for 10 minutes before using a pumice stone to get rid of dead skin.

17. For extra soft feet, do above and put on heavy duty lotion, socks and sleep.

18. To hide a hickey. Green concealer all over, foundation and powder. GONE.

19. To remove blackheads use charcoal based soap. And use natural beaded exfoliants

20. If you want your coochie to be BABY SOFT get yoni oil. Shit is magical.

21. If your hair is feeling lifeless massage coconut oil in every night + put in a bun. Wash out in the morning.

22. Put your undies in three categories. 1. I’m getting fucked tonight 2. I could be spontaneously fucked. 3. Getting none today

23. On the days leading up to and after your period use a pad on your fav undies to stop staining.

24. Eyebrows can be on fleek fucking in a forest. Get Anastasia dipbrow pomade. Lifesaver.

25. 6-10 green tea bags in a bath will help energise skin and refresh. Skin will glow and be soft.

26. If you’re about to get dicked down DON’T wear cotton undies. It will trap lint in the crevice of your thighs.

27. Chlorasceptic throat numbing medication helps with deep throating.

28. DRINK WATER. cliché af but keep coochie smelling good and brightens skin.

29. Lemon juice and baking soda will remove any cum stains from clothes. I got you 😏

30. It’s your body. Don’t fucking listen to anyone

31. Shave your coochie under water

32. Put baby oil in your bath - baby soft duck yeah

33. Have a special coochie cleaning day. You’ll not regret it

(via democraticsenator)

No one gives a fuck about me till they get fucked over LOL fuck all y'all

All my homegirls pick dick over me and that shit makes me laugh

0nesky0nedestiny:

I always do this to myself. I get involved in friendships that won’t last, with people who don’t know the real me, with emotions that are temporary, falling into this pit of curiosity that almost always leaves me feeling 1000 worse.

I’m so impulsive I hate it. I don’t think I just do. I go and do whatever I think is best or worth it and I don’t even realize all I’m doing is hurting myself. I keep trusting my hopes that I will find people who truly want to be involved in my life.

I’m so scared to let anymore people in.
I’m sad that I’ve been drifting away from everyone. I just wanna have my shit together. People need other people, it just sucks when no one is there to be your people.

smilethroughtears96:

I’m not:

- pretty enough

- smart enough

- thin enough

- happy enough

- funny enough

- confident enough

- worth enough

- enough

(via 1980sh0rr0rfilm)

Why is that every one of my fucking homies are always doing me so fucking dirty

0nesky0nedestiny:

flowerais:

how does one say: “I want to die” in a cute and positive way

Have your makeup done and a cute outfit on then say it in some gay way so people think it’s aesthetic.

(via 1980sh0rr0rfilm)

beyoncebeytwice:

i dont mean to be dramatic but talking to someone every day for a while is really nice until that day comes when you like dont talk to them for like 24 hours and u really just feel like youre dying

(via 1980sh0rr0rfilm)